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Salvi, Clara, Ibarra

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Seem familiar to you? Well, for those who do not, those are three of the major characters in the famous and revolutionary novel by Dr. Jose P. Rizal. I chose this title, just because I can relate to them.

Why? I really don’t have an idea. But all I can tell is I love a girl whom another guy loves her. But all I believed, according to her, was just not true. She told me she loves me more than the other guy, and treats me different for she loves me.

For a clearer statement, it was the third of March. And on that day, I admitted to her, what I feel whenever I see her with the other guy, which in turn is one of my friends. I just find it strange. The greatest love story ever told in reality? Maybe not, it seems to be just as the usual stories I read, write, hear, and watch. Morning of that day, I gave it through a letter, and waited until the afternoon. I was just shocked by her approach. I thought she would not talk to me anymore.

I tried to find the reasons why I feel this way. And what I found out, roots from my childhood. For all my friends know, I am an only child, so most of my needs and wants are given. .“At dahil wala naman akong kapatid, ’di ako sanay ng may-kaagawsa mga gusto ko. Hindi sa ayaw kong magbahagi, hindi lang talaga ako sana. Lalo na kung mahal ko ‘yung bagay na gusto ko.” (And since I don’t have any siblings, I am not comfortable when someone’s playing with the ones I own and like. It’s not that I don’t want to share, I am just can go with the concept. Especially when the one I like, is the one I love. )

That is the reason I find. And as of this moment, I find myself lost in an island searching for a rescue. All alone…

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