This is supposed to be my second short film. Just post a comment if you like it.

May nagtatanong, may naguguluhan, mayroong litong-lito na. Kanina pa nila gustong malaman. Naikwento ko lang naman. Halos yata lahat ng mga kaibigan, kaibigan, kabarkada, ng mga kilala ko, hinahanap siya. Hindi ko lang sigurado sa mga kababaihan, dahil hindi ko pa nakikilala ang para sa kanila. At malamang dahil hindi ako babae. Para sa mga nakakatanda at masaya na sa buhay, marahil ay nakilala na nila siya. Pero ako, grade 6 yata ako noong una kong napagkamalang siya ‘yun. Hindi pala. Nalaman ko na lang na may nakalaan na pala para sa kanya.

Hinanap ko ulit siya noong 1^st year high school. Hindi ko pa rin siya nakikilala. At noong sa pangalawang baitang ko sa high school, nag-isip ako. Mukhang nakita ko na yata siya. Meydo matagal rin kaming nag-usap, nagkakilanlan, at nagkamabutihan. Ngunit hindi nagtagal, natuklasan ko, hindi pa rin siya ‘yun. Ibang-iba ang ugali niya kumpara sa tunay na katauhang binabanggit ko.

Nakilala din siya ng mga kaibigan ko noong nasa 4^th year kami, may nagtagal, at ngayo’y nagkikita pa rin naman sila. Hindi sila nagkakasawaan. Hindi ko lang alam kung hanggang kailan. Mayroon din namang iba, sinamahan na siya sa panghabang buhay sa pag-aakalang siya na nga iyon. Hanggang sa maisip at napagtanto na mali ang desisyon kanilang nagawa. Iniwan ang sinamahan, nalungkot. May umalis at nagpatuloy, at mayroon namang tumalon na lang sa tulay. Hindi ko alam kung bakit. May malalim na dahilan. Doon ko natutunan, isa lang pala ang pwede niyang samahan.

Sabi ng mga matatanda, hindi siya dapat seryosohin. Iyon ay sa mga panahon kung saan ang dapat unahin ay ang sariling kapakanan. Hindi ko sinasabi na maging makasarili. Paliwanag nila, dapat ay may oras ka para sa kanya. At mahirap iyon kung nasa sitwasyon ka ng giyera sa loob ng isang silid at may mahabang kahoy na kulay berde. Umayon naman ako dito, ngunit hindi ko maiwasang aminin sa sarili na mahirap siyang tanggihan.

Nakapag-bigay siya ng saya, ng lungkot, ng galit, ng inspirasyon at mga bagay na makokonsiderang bumubuo sa pagkatao natin. Marami siyang nagagawa. Ngunit bihirang-bihira pa rin ang nakakakilala sa kanya ng tunay. At marami rin ang hindi pa nakakakita sa kanya. Aaminin ko, mahirap nga talaga siya hanapin. Dahil sa bawat tao, may isang katulad niya na makakapag-pabuo sa anumang pagkukulang sa buhay.

Maari rin siyang mag-aya sa mga lugar na magaganda, mall, parke, eskwelahan, at kainan. Maari mo siyang dalin sa kanto, sa kalsada, sa bahay mo, sa mga magulang mo, o kahit sa harap ng mesa at krus. Ngunit tulad natin, tao rin daw siya. Nasabi kong ‘daw’ dahil maaring tunay o kathang-isip lang siya. May buhay. Baka masyadong maaga kung makilala mo siya ngayon, o baka masyado nang huli. Sabi nga nila, mahirap na kalaban ang oras.

Marami nang ginawa ang tao upang makita siya. Maririnig sa radio, mababasa sa dyaryo, makikita sa billboard, mapapanood sa telebisyon, kalokohan sa baranggay at kung anu-ano pang mga pakulo upang hanapin siya. Pero sa kahuli-hulian, hindi rin naman sila nagtatagumpay. Sabi ng mga kritiko, pinipilit daw kasi kaya imposible siyang magpakita doon. At umayon ako nang sinabi nila, “hindi sa ganoong paraan siya makikita. Walang eksakto at siguradong paraan para gawin iyon”

At dahil doon, napa-isip na lang ako. Paano nga ba talaga siya makikilala? Anong paraan ang gagawin ko? Sasali ba ako sa mga patimpalak sa plaza? Magtatapon ng hiya sa telebisyon, at magpapakapal ng mukha sa radyo? Naguguluhan na ako. Pero hindi lubos.

Kung anu-ano na rin ang pina-uso ng mga kabataan upang makita siya. Nakipaglaro sa tadhana at pagkakataon upang makasabay siya sa pagkain. Pisak ang mata upang maniguro. Ngunit wala naman talagang kasiguruhan. Simpleng kalokohan. Magtagumpay man ay hindi lubos na totoo nga ito. Naituring na itong mapanganib dahil sa mga nagsusulputang kaso ng pang-aabuso. Nang dahil sa desperado na siyang makita ay kung anu-ano na rin ang kanilang binibitawan, binibigay upang sunggaban ang pagkakataong magkamali.

Maraming nagtatanong kung bakit daw ganun ang pangalan niya. Bakit sa lahat ay iyon pa? Kahit ako ay hindi ko maipaliwanag sa aking sarili. Inaamin ko noong una ay hindi ko talaga alam ang kanyang pangalan. Kaya tinawag ko siya sa pangalang iyon. Pero kung sa anong dahilan, silbi, patutunguhan, ay hindi ko pa mahanap ang sagot.

Siguro ganun na lang talaga ang masasabi ng isang tao sa panahong nagtatanong na siya? Nakilala mo na ba siya? Saan mo siya hahanapin? Paano mo siya makikilala? Ano ang basehan mo sa pagkakakilanlan mo? Nakasisiguro ka bang siya nga iyon? Maraming tanong. Maraming pala-isipan. Marahil nandiyan lang siya. Marahil ay katabi mo lang, kausap mo kanina, o kakwentuhan mo kahapon.

Marami nang naghahanap sa kanya. May nabigo at nagtagumpay. Ngunit hindi ko sigurado kung sinu-sino ang mga iyon. Baka kilala mo sila. Matagal ko na rin siya gustong makita at makilala. Hindi ko alam kung kailan, saan at sa kung anong paraan.

Sino nga ba talaga si Bea?

“Sino nga ba talaga si Bea?”

Written for Short Film by: J.M. Oleo

Note: This is a plot draft; any changes may be made during its production.

Intellectual Properties Law Applies.

With all respect to Sir Jim Paredes. He's a great artist. A very talented musician.

Anyways, I really feel tired these days. Well, I guess it's because of the "long" vacation I had. I tried to think of ways to pass time. I tried to waste my time writing songs. And somehow, used it sensibly by hanging out with my friends. Jam.

As of now, my friends and I are building up on a project on writing songs and playing it. And also, trying to join a competition, which, I, personally have been waiting for.

I don't know. There are things that I want to have right now, but somewhere in my mind tells me, I should wait for the right time. Yes. Maybe the right time.


As of May 30, 2007.

Project: Globe Kantabataan 2007
Music: Buboy's ; Silent Sanctuary ; Radioactive Sago Project
Movie: The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift
Book: Stainless Longganisa (Bob Ong)
TV Show: Heroes ; PBB (Go Bea!)
Flick: Death of my Falling Star (MTV)...[Still on shoot]

Recently, I have been active in an online forum regarding a band known as the "Bloomfields". And through this, I have a met a nice person by the name of Naomi. Although she was a graduate of Ateneo (because I'm from the home of the green archers), we have found common interests. Music. She was also a pianist, but I am not sure if it is of the classical type.

She even recognized me in her blog, saying that I was one of the nice persons she met at the forum. Well, I like her in the sense that we have common interests as what I have said.

Nothing much to say. I just don't want to forget important events in my life.

=)

Well, it's been a long time since I logged my last journal here. And as it shows, nothing much has happened to me.

What I have been up to:

1. Listening to the debut album of "The Bloomfields".
2. Enrolling at De La Salle University - Dasmariñas for BS Nursing.
3. Updating my blog.
4. Trying to contact Bob Ong.
5. And listing my demon days. (That would be in private. But watch out!)

What I am currently listening to:

1. The Bloomfields - Self-titled Album
   
2. My Chemical Romance - The Black Parade
   
3. The Eraserheads - Anthology Two

What I am watching:

1. Heroes (NBC)
2. Appleseed
   
3. Final Fantasy VII : Advent Children
4. Prophecy of Karas
5. DNA2
6. Full Metal Alchemist Movie

*Sigh*

Just stay tuned for more updates.

Finally, its March. Graduation. Finally.

All has been done. Another chapter writes : "College".

A accomplishment has been reached. Finally.

Nice.

Really nice.

I love you all.

Especially to my life's melodee...

For the longest time, I have observed that there are still thousands of people who watch the most talked-about reality television show, Big Brother. Wherein a number of strangers who don't know each other are taken to live into one house for a hundred days. Many audiences watch them everyday, what they do, how they live and cope up with the environment. And there were two things running on my mind, the objective of getting along with other people and being REAL. Yes, being real.

A friend of mind tole me about a school in their province having almost the same characteristics. Their classroom was like "Bahay ni Kuya". But instead of house mates, they had classmates, and there was no big brother. However, what the house mates had in their minds was just the same the 'classmates' had. Some were, but some were not...real.

If you would ask me of those people I like, I would say that I prefer having friends who have a sense of respect to other people. No matter what the condition of what will they say, either positive or negative, there is still a way to express it properly. I hate people who talk as if they are talking to some dumb animal. People who talk just for show-off. Its good to hear them if what they are speaking can help you, but its not. None sense.

I admit, I can say those things also. But as long as it is possible, I avoid doing it, or apologizing and saying it in the right way, or rather not say it at all.

'Plastic' was a common word for those who were not real with what they are in front of others. And he (my friend) told me they had a number of that.

Ah..I just hate it.

Then I realized it was all me.

Stupid.

I did not tell her about it until the time came I saw another. But, I did not forget everything at all. She was still in the park thinking we could still walk together. But I was already making my way back home. The end of the road was a dead end, but I did not tell her.

I'm really sorry.
Just hear it.
Please.
Just hear it.

That was a text from a testimonial I received last night from a good friend of mine. And whilst I think of things that run through my head, I thought, are there really soul mates?

Do you believe in it? Do you? Tell me.

We just had our Junior-Senior Promenade last 23rd of January of this year, and it was very very nice. Everything was just wonderful.

But what stayed in my mind was the carrot soup which was served to us during the dinner. I admit, it was the first time I saw such a weird food. I never had an idea what is tasted. I just knew what it was like when I tried to taste it. And luckily, I managed to eat some of it.

And just like that, I was about to face a new challenge. There was this one junior student, whom I admire and whom I wanted to dance with. But I hesitated to approach her because of her friends that might bring her to shame. But what happened later was nice.

When I finally made up my mind, I went near her and invited her to dance. And she said 'yes'. How happy I was when I finally had the chance to dance with her. Now she knew, I liked her.

She thanked me the morning after. And it gave me a smile...

Nice.

The plan was to help him to gain the strength and the courage he needed for him to achieve his wants and desires. But when I the chance to finally throw away the regrets and pains I had about her, the things changed. What should have been a friendly intention, became a personal desire. But what was the price to pay? "There are matters of consequences" as Exupery described the life with his little prince. I was about to think about it, but I was already, and unconsciously experiencing it. I lost my friends, the things around me changed a lot. Those who shouldn't have hated me, now, hated me. I do not know how to put all these things in my mind.

I hope someone understands. I really hope. No one ever knew what tomorrow might bring to us. It may give us opportunities, and losing things in return, and gaining new one in return.