And so it happened, it was the 9th of January. I have to let her go, her parents told me so. But why the hell did I not defend her? My reason was, I don’t want her parents to think she’s disrespecting and committing rebellion against her parents. And I believed, we could wait for the right time. I told her not to worry too much, I even cried over her, apologizing. I told her that what I did could make things better, that it could hold back the tears she might have.

But healing the wounds had consequences. I felt things that I had never felt before. And dominating in me was…embarrassing to admit but…I felt jealousy. Yes you read it right. …To whom? Who else..? He was but the guy, who she was always with since we met, and even I had her heart, he was still there.

It was days after I let set her free. I was still crying over her. Then some of my friends told me of something which really bothered my mind. The guy, which we will call under the alias of “Mr. Bean”, was doubted by the people to be taking advantage of the situation. I and my friends started to find proofs for the matter. We began to think of the possibilities. And it was really possible.

Possible in the sense, they could learn to love each other. There was a time when I accidentally read Mr. Bean’s mailbox in his phone. And I found a message of hers. In the message, it included the word I never expected to appear there. It was a shortened word for the word “baby” which is oftentimes used as a name between lovers. So by that time, I was very shocked. I came to a friend to seek help. My friend said that the situation will be cleared. The next morning, all was clarified.

Days passed and I tried to hold back the tears with all my might. Dodging all the bullets, but none of them I successfully evaded, it hurt me a lot. So, I reached for my closest friend. I opened up to him everything. We agreed to not to react anymore to these situation, it will hurt me more.
But until now, even though everything’s is answered, I can’t take away the doubt in my heart like a thousand needles.